lxcid

Procastination is my biggest flaw. I am a big procastinator, that's why I haven't done anything significant yet.

At the age of 23, with the power to create, I failed to make a difference. Before I can make a difference, I have a list of things I yet do. They are listed in the order of regrets.

* Fails to groom myself. I always want to groom myself. I didn't feel like it maybe a few years ago but I want to do it now and I haven't start.
* I yet to complete my driving test. Yes. I could have done it at age 16 or 17 but I still haven't do it at age 23. I am actually learning now but now I'm stuck at my 2nd driving lesson. I have to drag myself to learn driving. That's how bad it is. I just need to force myself to finish it within these 2 months.
* Fails to make my ideas work out. If any of those ideas had become reality under me, I wouldn't be working for others anymore. I'm no kidding here...
* Failed to be adventurous. When it come to life, you might reach a point where you feel the need to be adventurous but felt that it probably won't happen in this life. Oh well...
* Fails to complete a project for a friend. This is actually one of the prick that I couldn't get out. Sometime soon, I'll do something about it.
* Fails to take the easy route. Its just not me, no matter its the right route or the wrong route.

As you see I have lots of regrets. But I love my life. There's lots of wonderful things happening in my life too. But I just prove that I am a big procastinator, and I need ot change. In 2010? :D I do hope so~ :D

I grew up in a family where I am ranked 5th, with 4 sisters who all existed before I am born. From my point of view, I grew up not having anything without working for it. But don't get me wrong, I still live pretty comfortably under the protection of my parents. Just that to want something requires the approval of the majority of the 6 parties.

I vaguely remember the disapproval for me to get a PC. The deal is done only when its not place in a convience place for me (my eldest sister room) and if I got good result. I still remember I got 3rd in the class back then.

I have to admit I have a ugly set of teeth, and I always want to fix it. I also know how expensive it is to get a brace so it took me a hell lot just to ask my mum for it. My mum rejected me even after begging. And now my brother now have one.

My sister says I am being doted. I don't really see how is that so. I spend the least in education. My mum told me to wait so that my sister can complete their university. I am not blaming my parents. I don't mind actually. I love my parents. But my point is I don't always get what I want in my life.

Don't get me wrong. It doesn't means money is the standard for this kind of comparision. It just one of the catalysis. Its not the usual either you are rich or you are poor situation. You are dealing with scenario where your siblings get something and you doesn't and you compared and feel bad. Its not easy for my parents to please everyone of us. And there's the part of teaching us to be a good person. I think they did a good job, no one can do better than them.

My brother touched my stuff and I gotten mad at him but I end up being scolded by my sister and start a very bad fight/quarrel with her. I need to please not just your parents but 4 of your sisters on a daily basis? Trying very hard not to get scolded everyday? Anything I do can trigger one of them to be mad? How ugly and bad it can be when all 6 of them turn against me?

Don't get me wrong again they are wonderful siblings to me. I really love them all and I care a lot for them. This is just typical family scenario. Everyone goes through to a certain extends. I believe my 4th and 3rd sis would only have a slightly better situation than me. My eldest and 2nd sister would have the burden of taking care of so much kids. We all have our own set of situation to deal with. This is just our family. And we grew up from it and become better a person and we still loves each other as much.

I just want to show how part of my life is past.

I am a result of someone who don't get what I want. Who have little right in the family. I learnt to be appreciative, learnt to be not take things for granted, learnt to think for others, learnt to depend on myself, learnt that this world doesn't revolve around me, learnt to move on from failure.

I believe all these are positive points I have taken from life up until now. I love my life. If I can live forever, I want to do it. I never once felt like giving my precious life up.

It explain a lot of my behaviors. I hates conflicts, I treat people I care selflessly. I treat them equally, I don't try to overpower them. I took a more liberal approach in life. I try to make people feel better even if its a stranger. Saying sorry even if I am not at wrong.

It doesn't matter if I don't have right, if someone is wrong or I am wronged, if someone is exploiting me, if its unfair to me, if I am overpowered, if I say sorry first.

The world isn't create to treat everything equally, to give everyone equal right, to justify the right, to make sure everyone is well treated. God would not have created sorry because he have done no wrong. Its all human affair. And we are trying to think like the world rather than a human.

We learn to give up on our human side. Sometimes, we weigh the situation and majority of the time we can let it bygone. You actually dictate whether to be happy or not most of the time.

Human don't do something without a reason, it can be a lifelong reason. We are all different, we all face with different situation no matter how close we are, we experience the same time differently. Its takes time to learn and understand each.

We are gifted with 5 senses. There's the most obvious of situation like a begger or old granny picking card board and we feel sympathic for them but in life there's lots of situation where it takes more than eyes to see and we might not be opening enough senses to see it...

On the side note, Chris Daughtry you rocks you are my example. I am learning a lot about my new life branch growing from the trunk even after going to 2 years. I love this quote from him, "I used to call [my wife] and just quickly throw in the towel. But I’ve found that the less I say and the more I actually listen to her, and just be there without actually being there, is the best thing I can do. As a man, I always feel like I need to say something. Sometimes I have to stop myself because all I want to do is call and tell her about how much awesome stuff is going on in my life, and, you know, her day is sucking hard. I could write a book on it, I’m serious."

Sometimes I have to stop myself to says I always love you darling. :)

First off, congratulation on getting your second interview pal. I hope this gave you a dose of confident that will last you a long time. I am really feel happy for you not just for getting your second interview but also for reviving your dreams. Because I know how important it is to have dreams and keep on fighting.

Remember the days of DFvR? Where we had those never say die attitude? Even when we are down a base, we come back to win the game? I love those moments. Its the typically keep trying until you succeed mentality. And it show real character and courage in us.

But have you ever thought what will happen if we gave up on the first sign of failure? When our first base is down? Would we have won? I doubt so.

Like me, you are a gamer. We always try to explain things in gamers term. So here's mine: I believe life is like a game of dota. You grind and fight your way to reach your goal, that is to destroy opponent main and win the game, sometimes you are alone in the neutral creep or lane, sometimes you gang up with your friends. Throughout the time of the game there's up and down period, your goal can really be threaten at times and you can quit anytime. Once we quit, we will never win the game, but as long as we are playing, there's still a chance.

If we portray our life as a game of dota, its just around 15 minutes into the game, there's still like around 45 more minutes to go!

Sometimes, we are just betting on this chance and this chance actually have a higher chance to win than winning 4D or toto.

Even if we lose the game at the end. We can train up and come back stronger, believing that we will win the next one.

Like football, when the final whistle is not blown, there's still a chance of winning. Remember Liverpool vs AC Milan champion league final? Manchester United vs Bayern Munich champion league final?

And as we learn that life is full of failures and successes, usually the former occurring more frequently than the latter when we haven't succeed. This is only reversed when we succeed. That's why the rich get richer.

Success won't come when you give up. You only have the chance of succeeding if you don't give up.

Not giving up must be accompanied by action. I always understand that talking is cheap. Look at all the talk of ideas that will get us rich and look at where I am now. But I'm not giving up. I will continue to fight on.

We must go forward and not be afraid of failing. Like how I always like to join scourge in a dota game. Failure is a beauty on its own and without it, there's no success and there's no point trying to be successful.

Having character and courage is important too. To keep dealing with failures, your confident level will take a hit. But we have shown in the past we have the character and courage and ability to keep our confident in a good level. I believe we can do it! I believe in you.

You are capable person. You have certain skill set that I wish I have. And those skill set is not available in many people. I believe if you continue to believe in yourself no matter what happens, keep fighting and never give up you will succeed. Sometimes after doing everything, success won't just appears. Sometimes, we have to just be patient and wait.

The formula is pretty simple and should be simple too. There's really no shortcut in a world where everyone want to succeed.

Are they going to KS us? Leave us behind when we are being gang? Only few will help us. We all believe in using people and letting other people use us. But we have to be smart while letting other people use us. We don't want them to climb over our dead body. We are kind people and we don't want them dead either. But reality is cruel. Not everyone is so kind. So we have to be smarter and careful.

If things are not moving, it will not change. Keep moving pal, keep moving.

Well its about strengthening our strengths, eliminating our weaknesses, grabbing opportunities and minimizing the threats. :)

Welcome back JQ. I'm looking forward again to see you taking control and succeeding in life again. Like how you always did. :)

You are under pressure by client to deliver. My ex-colleague totally screwed you up. And now it seems I am going to take over his job with a uphill task of unscrew you up. You didn't realise that before I can unscrew you, I need to reduce the impact of him screwing you up. Refactoring has no business value. So you will not factor in the time for refactoring. Even though you said it will come in later. And your later will never come. Because you fail to release the important of refactoring. Let me tell you a scenerio that will happen for sure. The project will not be complete/reach the schedule time/milestone. You ask why? You wouldn't understand even if I explains. Because if you would, then you wouldn't take this decision path. Don't be surprise I totally understand how your decision path. The cycle will continue. The inevitable which is totally untrue. But the untrue is a myth in the path you have taken. Project milestone not met. Client unhappy. Quick fixes. Client unhappy. Quick fixes. Client unhappy. Quick fixes. Sign off. Project moilestone not met. Client unhappy. Quick fixes. Client unhappy. Quick fixes. Client unhappy. Quick fixes. Client unhappy. Quick fixes. Client unhappy. Quick fixes. Client unhappy. Quick fixes. Sign off... and so on. The effort needed after each phase will just increase. Have you learn about the big O notation?

XAMPP is one of the best developer application around. Long before I know about XAMPP, I always setup my own Apache, MySQL and PHP manually. Installing individual software, trying to figure out the correct settings, adding all the extensions and the horror of getting them to work together. Even repeating the task so many times, I will still hit an obstacle or two once in a while. It was never something I was confident in doing. Adding to the difficulty was my stubborn attitude. I always want it set up as clean as possible; getting it up with only the necessary changes.

When I first knew about XAMPP, I think its for lazy people. I fear they would took mess up my precious C drive. So I took a while before I tried and after that, I never look back. I would recommend any PHP developers to use XAMPP for their development environment.

And here's I will show you how easy it is to setup XDebug in XAMPP.

Its going to be really short, so sit tight. :)

Under your XAMPP directory, navigation to PHP directory:

$(XAMPP_PATH)\php

Open up the php.ini file.

Look for the following block of settings.

[XDebug]
;; Only Zend OR (!) XDebug
;zend_extension_ts="C:\xampp\php\ext\php_xdebug.dll"
;xdebug.remote_enable=true
;xdebug.remote_host=127.0.0.1
;xdebug.remote_port=9000
;xdebug.remote_handler=dbgp
;xdebug.profiler_enable=1
;xdebug.profiler_output_dir="C:\xampp\tmp"

Uncomment it.

[XDebug]
; Only Zend OR (!) XDebug
zend_extension_ts="C:\xampp\php\ext\php_xdebug.dll"
xdebug.remote_enable=true
xdebug.remote_host=127.0.0.1
xdebug.remote_port=9000
xdebug.remote_handler=dbgp
xdebug.profiler_enable=1
xdebug.profiler_output_dir="C:\xampp\tmp"

Look for the following block of settings.

[Zend]
zend_extension_ts = "C:\xampp\php\zendOptimizer\lib\ZendExtensionManager.dll"

Comment it.

[Zend]
;zend_extension_ts = "C:\xampp\php\zendOptimizer\lib\ZendExtensionManager.dll"

Restart your XAMPP.

You are done! Easy isn't it? :D