I grew up in a family where I am ranked 5th, with 4 sisters who all existed before I am born. From my point of view, I grew up not having anything without working for it. But don't get me wrong, I still live pretty comfortably under the protection of my parents. Just that to want something requires the approval of the majority of the 6 parties.
I vaguely remember the disapproval for me to get a PC. The deal is done only when its not place in a convience place for me (my eldest sister room) and if I got good result. I still remember I got 3rd in the class back then.
I have to admit I have a ugly set of teeth, and I always want to fix it. I also know how expensive it is to get a brace so it took me a hell lot just to ask my mum for it. My mum rejected me even after begging. And now my brother now have one.
My sister says I am being doted. I don't really see how is that so. I spend the least in education. My mum told me to wait so that my sister can complete their university. I am not blaming my parents. I don't mind actually. I love my parents. But my point is I don't always get what I want in my life.
Don't get me wrong. It doesn't means money is the standard for this kind of comparision. It just one of the catalysis. Its not the usual either you are rich or you are poor situation. You are dealing with scenario where your siblings get something and you doesn't and you compared and feel bad. Its not easy for my parents to please everyone of us. And there's the part of teaching us to be a good person. I think they did a good job, no one can do better than them.
My brother touched my stuff and I gotten mad at him but I end up being scolded by my sister and start a very bad fight/quarrel with her. I need to please not just your parents but 4 of your sisters on a daily basis? Trying very hard not to get scolded everyday? Anything I do can trigger one of them to be mad? How ugly and bad it can be when all 6 of them turn against me?
Don't get me wrong again they are wonderful siblings to me. I really love them all and I care a lot for them. This is just typical family scenario. Everyone goes through to a certain extends. I believe my 4th and 3rd sis would only have a slightly better situation than me. My eldest and 2nd sister would have the burden of taking care of so much kids. We all have our own set of situation to deal with. This is just our family. And we grew up from it and become better a person and we still loves each other as much.
I just want to show how part of my life is past.
I am a result of someone who don't get what I want. Who have little right in the family. I learnt to be appreciative, learnt to be not take things for granted, learnt to think for others, learnt to depend on myself, learnt that this world doesn't revolve around me, learnt to move on from failure.
I believe all these are positive points I have taken from life up until now. I love my life. If I can live forever, I want to do it. I never once felt like giving my precious life up.
It explain a lot of my behaviors. I hates conflicts, I treat people I care selflessly. I treat them equally, I don't try to overpower them. I took a more liberal approach in life. I try to make people feel better even if its a stranger. Saying sorry even if I am not at wrong.
It doesn't matter if I don't have right, if someone is wrong or I am wronged, if someone is exploiting me, if its unfair to me, if I am overpowered, if I say sorry first.
The world isn't create to treat everything equally, to give everyone equal right, to justify the right, to make sure everyone is well treated. God would not have created sorry because he have done no wrong. Its all human affair. And we are trying to think like the world rather than a human.
We learn to give up on our human side. Sometimes, we weigh the situation and majority of the time we can let it bygone. You actually dictate whether to be happy or not most of the time.
Human don't do something without a reason, it can be a lifelong reason. We are all different, we all face with different situation no matter how close we are, we experience the same time differently. Its takes time to learn and understand each.
We are gifted with 5 senses. There's the most obvious of situation like a begger or old granny picking card board and we feel sympathic for them but in life there's lots of situation where it takes more than eyes to see and we might not be opening enough senses to see it...
On the side note, Chris Daughtry you rocks you are my example. I am learning a lot about my new life branch growing from the trunk even after going to 2 years. I love this quote from him, "I used to call [my wife] and just quickly throw in the towel. But I’ve found that the less I say and the more I actually listen to her, and just be there without actually being there, is the best thing I can do. As a man, I always feel like I need to say something. Sometimes I have to stop myself because all I want to do is call and tell her about how much awesome stuff is going on in my life, and, you know, her day is sucking hard. I could write a book on it, I’m serious."
Sometimes I have to stop myself to says I always love you darling. :)